Addressing ALL Celebrity Stans

English: NYC signing September 1, 2009 at Nint...

English: NYC signing September 1, 2009 at Nintendo Store – New York City, USA (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’m about to make some people mad here. But I left all my fucks behind in Paris when I came back to start the new semester, so…

Beyhive, Navy, Barbs, Beliebers, Directioners, Lovatics, Team Breezy, whatever, read up. From one music lover to another, let’s get some thangs straight. But first let me introduce myself.

My name is Chilli. I love music like nothing else. I luhhhh it! I’m continuously seeking out new music I’ve not let my ears experience before, and I always know when  I’ve come across a good thing. I have an iPod which serves a great purpose to me everyday, and it’s to fill my life with beautiful sound. I also have Panasonic headphones that make sure I can feel every lilt and “boom” in the beat, and all the curves of the artists’ voices.

However, like most of you “stans”, I do not have a “fave”. But there are many artists that I equally like and fawn over because of their artistic genius. No matter how much I love Frank Ocean, Emeli Sandé or Emalkay (dubstep producer), I cannot, I just CANNOT worship them. I’m not very good at giving my all to one person, and throwing myself down to the floor in praise of them. And honestly, I don’t think the people whose music I love to listen to would want me to waste my time loving them, all the while forgetting about my own life.I don’t want to have a fave. I don’t want to have just one artist who I only ever listen to. I like variety. Sure, my iPod has some artists of which I have a whole lot of music, but still, I mix it up by having music by other artists on there too. I cannot imagine ever JUST listening to Britney Spears. Or Jay-Z. Or Beyonce. Or — Lawd forbid — Lil Wayne. I’ve perused some guys’ iPods and iTunes libraries and found that 80% of them consist of just Lil Wayne’s albums and mixtapes. That’s a little too much of rhyming “nigga” with “nigga”.

I can’t judge people for the kind of music they listen to, or try to. The same way you shan’t be judging me for the music I love. Even though I can’t help but wonder why you people fall over yourselves, proclaiming praise for music by your faves who cannot really be counted as the greatest musicians of all time, I let it go. You liking the music you like (even though some of it is varying between “absolute crap” and “okay, but not totally special”) does not impact on my life in anyway, so…. *shrugs*

However! *sound of brakes screeching to a halt* There are times when your undying love for your fave will start to impact on us mere mortals’ lives.

1. When you try to turn the non-stans.

I’ve seen many times on Twitter, tweeps who are stans of a particular artist will try to bully other tweeps who are unaffiliated to like their fave. Being on some steez like “don’t dis our king/queen, you ass! You do not know real music if you’re not listening to [insert popular music artist here]”.

2. When you bully the non-stans, or in fact anyone who has a negative or neutral opinion about your fave.

There was an issue involving dream hampton’s daughter and the Beyhive that revealed to many people on Twitter how ridiculous and emotionally damaging this stanning thing can be, especially when you take it so seriously. Poor girl got criticised for having her photograph taken with Beyonce when her mother (who wanted to know how the picture found its way online) demanded it to be taken down.

This prompted “King Bey” (I don’t get what’s with the “king” but I’m sleep tho*) to write an open letter to her followers, listing the rules that all “bees” (those, I’m assuming, are the names she’s given her followers) should abide by. One of the rules apparently says that bullying is not allowed. I don’t think any of them bees are adhering to this bit of legislation anyway, so that open letter was probably drafted up in vain. This is the first time that any artist, in the middle of a stan storm, has addressed their fans to tell them, in a way, “I know you love me but damn, calm down! Stop being rude, that’s not what I stand for”.

3. When you obnoxiously pollute our timelines with your delusions, comparing your fave to God. GOD. I see y’all…

I see this a lot with people who stan for Rihanna, Beyonce and Justin Bieber. There are some stans who keep that stuff to themselves, but then there are those who never fail to let us know how much they love their faves. For example, there is a Facebook friend of mine who had, one day, posted (as consequent statuses) all the lyrics of every song from Rihanna’s album Talk That Talk around the time it came out. Posted all the lyrics word for word… of course, with spelling errors. I wanted to see what was going on with my other friends, and I couldn’t because this girl’s long ass paragraphs of Talk That Talk dedication were taking up space on my news feed.

Then there is another young girl who I have as a friend on Facebook who has posted something about urging all fellow Beliebers to stand by Justin Bieber no matter what. I scoffed and thought to myself, “Girl, please, your idol pissed in a bucket, that I can’t deal with…”, but let it go.

It wasn’t until I saw a clip of Jimmy Kimmel’s Lie Witness News where fake reporters went on the streets and found young Beliebers, started feeding them lies about horrible stuff that Justin Bieber had committed just to see whether they’d still blindly support him til the end. Almost, if not all, of the girls attested to that. Wow… the link for the clip is below. I couldn’t watch it all, I got too mad. Especially at the girl who said Chyeah…he can do whatever he wants. He’s the King of Pop.”


I’ve seen someone on Twitter refer to Rihanna as higher than Jesus. Ooh-err… that’s not going to be a popular opinion with Christians. I cannot agree with this, because obviously it is not true. Even though I’ve totally rejected idea of religion (in order to get closer to Jesus), I just cringe when anyone says anything blasphemous. But by looking at that tweet, I realised there are actually people who look at Rihanna as a saviour and role model. Judging by her raunchy Instagram pictures, it doesn’t look like she’s really looking to be anyone’s role model. I ain’t ever heard of a person inspire people in denim shorts so tiny they look like a thong.

There are people who hear Rihanna’s music and think they’re listening to the sweet sounds of angels harmonising. No comment. Sure, her music is catchy (because she gets Chase & Status to produce her shit) but I don’t see it as Grammy Award-winning.

4. When some of you stans wanna start fights with other stans.

Calling Rihanna fans “Rihtards” and Beyonce fans “Beyliterates” (as in illiterate), and some other shit. You’d think this is just a bunch of teenagers looking for trouble online, but no, no, no. Do not be fooled. Some of the people behind those Twitter account are grown adults. Adults with jobs and children and homes. Adults. Goes to show that high school tendencies never get left behind in high school.

Surely, there’s a way of loving an artist’s music without being an obnoxious bastard about it.

I believe your stan groups exist for the reason that you all love your faves (yes), you want to support them (yes), but most of all, you want to feel like a part of one big collective (hell yes). There’s nothing wrong with that. Imagine being the only person who knows about and supports a certain artist, it’s quite lonely. But let’s keep calm here. You won’t be chastised for not promoting your fave enough. These celebrities are not watching your every move. Live a little, outside your fandom. And be nice too, damnit!

Before I finish off, there are a few (or maybe, not so few) words I have for the most aggressive group of fans since the start of the millenium: those damn Beliebers.

A few years ago, your beloved Justin used to be a sweet little boy (I say little because I’m older than him, and because his voice has still not completely broken through), when he sang his songs talmbout “Baby, baby, baby, ohhh!”, I felt like this guy is genuine, and he really means the words he says. Like, any girl who gets with him will be treated like a queen. Now, his fashion sense has gone south (explain what the hell is up with those sagging pants he likes to wear), he’s behaving like the guy in the neighbourhood everyone hates because he has no filter and acts so damn rude, urinating in public places, etc.

Now, I’m not going to blame you all for the way he is (that’s all on him), but the way you lot have behaved in the past when faced with criticism or just any news about your beloved Justin is questionable. First, when there was a rumour that Kim Kardashian was dating your “god” just because she was backstage with him at a show and they were getting close, y’all went ham. You proceeded to gather up your arsenal and start firing mean and hurtful things at Kim, going as far as death threats.

When the rumour turned out to be what it was — not true — y’all went quiet, but didn’t think to apologise to Kim for the slander. I don’t like Kim anyway, but I don’t think she deserved that. Then news came that your beloved Justin had found love with Selena Gomez, you all took out your anger at her too. Why? Because you actually all believed you stood a chance with the Biebs, and then this girl just comes along and steals your chance. *sigh*

I think there should be a disclaimer that comes with all up and coming male musicians that says “Look ladies, let’s be real, I can’t date all of you [because celebrities date celebrities]. I’m just here to sing you sweet music. That’s all. If I sold you any dreams, kindly disregard.”

Female musicians don’t need that, because the men that like them know they’ll never get to hit that, all they can do is look and admire from a distance.

Basically, in the years of Justin’s ascent to super stardom, you have been steadily supporting him, all the while trolling and trying to abusing and bad-mouthing others who may seem to stand in your way or think differently from you. Of course, you’re not all the same. Some of you are actually quite chilled. I’m only talking to the crazy ones of you.

So, I say to you: chill the fuck out. How about focus on school (because most of you still have high school ahead of you) and think about your own future instead of concentrating all your efforts on supporting a star who is now too absorbed in his own world to care about you?

And learn to communicate. Nobody like to receive death threats for frivolous reasons like not believing in something that gives someone else life.

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Amusing how Beliebers only get mad at him because he delayed a concert, but then excuse all the other really shitty things he’s done. Huh.

*I’m sleep tho = this here phrase basically means “you know what, whatever. You’re not listening to me…”

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